OPEN AUDITIONS

A Good Old Fashioned, Redneck Country Christmas

by Kris Vosler

directed by Phil Myers

Auditions and Performances to be held at Beatniks On Conkey, 420 Conkey Street, Hammond, IN

Audition Dates:

• Sunday October 1, 2023 5:00 PM
• Monday October 2 7:00 PM

Performance Dates:

• Friday, December 8, 2023, at 7:30 p.m.
• Saturday, December 9, at 7:30 p.m.
• Sunday, December 10, at 2:00 p.m.
• Friday, December 15, at 7:30 p.m.
• Saturday, December 16, at 7:30 p.m.
• Sunday, December 17, at 2:00 p.m.

Story Synopsis:

What if the three wise men weren’t really all that wise? What if they were just three ordinary guys, avoiding conflicts at home, who happened upon the greatest story ever told?

Set the entire story in modern day America, sprinkle in a little redneck humor, and you have the smash A Good Old Fashioned Redneck Country Christmas! Bill, Dave, and Jimmy have had it with their women! Even though it’s Christmas Eve, and tradition dictates they should be home, drinking hot cocoa and singing carols, the boys decide to high-tail it into the mountains for a little hunting and a lot of beer.

This protest does nothing to improve the mood of the women back in town. Lou runs Lou’s Diner. She and Bill and have been trying (unsuccessfully) to have a baby. Barbie Jo, Lou’s head waitress, is married to Dave, and they have kids, but Dave’s not interested in family this year. Darlene, the most beautiful girl in three counties is dating Jimmy, but while she’s ready to settle down, Jimmy can’t stand the idea of “committment”. It’s gonna take a Christmas miracle to get these redneck families back together! Thank God one just came to town!

Cast of Characters

Need 4 female and 5 male actors

• Bob/Bobbi (Narrator)- Bob is a semi driver whose truck just broke down on Christmas Eve. He’s/She’s spending the day at Lou’s Dinner hoping his/her truck will be fixed before the blizzard strikes. He/she shares the story of what happens in Christmas as seen through his calm wise eyes. (Part could be male or female).
• Louise Wexler- Lou is a bundle of energy as she takes control of the stage like she takes control of her diner. Everyone values Lou’s opinion. She is always moving, dispensing tough, no-nonsense wisdom as she bounces from one task to the next.
• Bill Wexler- Bill is a retired Marine who served in the Gulf War and is married to Lou. He owns a trail guiding business and loves hiking, fishing, and hunting. Of all the men, Bill understands women and relationships. He doesn’t take orders from the boys but his philosophy concerning women is generally to do as Lou says.
• Dave Fox- Dave is a typical married father of two who owns a butcher shop. He loves to crack jokes to avoid any real discussion of the issues. Deep down inside, he loves his wife and family.  However, he feels his mother-in-law is way too much to deal with at Christmas.
• Barbie Jo Fox- Barbie Jo is the beleaguered wife of Dave. She is always a bit frazzled as she has two children and Dave to raise. Her mother never lets her forget that she could have married better, gotten a better education and generally done better in life if she hadn’t married Dave. She works at the diner and is Lou’s right-hand girl.
• Jimmy Weaver- Jimmy is engaged to Darlene but, considers himself a lady’s man. He’s cute and charming, but not terribly smart. He is woefully lacking in any understanding of what women want from a man. He is a down home farm boy who loves to fish and hunt and basically does whatever he pleases.
• Darlene Fulmer- Darlene is a typical rodeo queen. No hairstyle is too big, no jewelry is too outrageous. She is a complete innocent who accepts everything at face value. What she lacks in smarts she makes up in heart. She met Jimmy two years ago and hopes to marry him.
• Mary Sue Archer- Mary Sue is a pregnant teen who shows up in the middle of the chaos and brings the true gift of Christmas. She is tired and unkept and desperately in need of friends.
• Mark Riley- Mark is in college and is the son of the towns doctor. He has a huge crush on Darlene, but he’s never told her. He’s nerdy and shy but never judge a book by its cover.

Auditions will consist of readings from the script and will be held at Beatniks on Conkey on the Other Side at 418 Conkey, Hammond IN. Rehearsals will begin the week of October 17.

Contact the director:

info@hammondcommunitytheatre.org

Auditions will be held at Beatniks On Conkey, 420 Conkey Street, Hammond, IN.

Performances at Beatniks On Conkey

420 Conkey St. Hammond, IN         2 blocks east of Hohman Avenue.

219-852-0848

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